Silence has a way of creating doubt. From red hot feelings needing to talk every minute to silence is torture. I guess I did that to him just after we parted in Florida. That was because I needed him to show me this relationship isn't all about him and his needs, that he can focus on me a bit too. Afterall, it was my birthday. That was back in early March.
Between March and now, he lost a huge organizing campaign, got disrespected by his superiors and colleagues about his abilities, and appeared to be lost about who he is. My heart aches for him. I know he is in pain.
But silence, this silence he is imposing on me, is tearing me apart. I am not so strong. I need a response on WeChat. I need my calls returned. I need him to tell me what is on his mind, not what he wants me to hear.
I miss him deeply. I want to cry.
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