I am an atypical single mom. I have been divorced for more than two years and have been separated longer than that. My ex and I live so close I could see him in his apartment from mine if he is simply near his windows. We even have each other's apartment keys. We shuttle the kids and their favorite toys and books between our homes on demand - if one of them presents a big enough show of an anxiety attack without that life-sustaining stuff animal or whatever. We talk almost daily about the kid's problems, injuries, and funny moments like a married couple. But we both know we are happier if we remain only as parent-partners to two beautiful children.
A few years ago, at 35, I find myself single again. Today, at 38, I often wonder if I'll be single for life. Yes, there are suitors. But there is this notion of choices and very little passion in most of the men I met. Do people fall in love when they are in their 30's and 40's?
I am not lonely. Too busy with work and kids and family stuff to notice I have any time for myself. Plus I have too many hobbies. But there are those moments when I wonder what would happen when I have an empty nest. Those moments motivate me to look, despite the lack of time.
Being together with a partner would be healthier, if the match is right. I don't know exactly why people think being married is better than being single with kids. As a parent, I feel more relaxed when I don't have the kids every other weekend. It was a great time to just watch TV, read a book or just relax in bed.
All in all, I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. For now, my work dictates. But in time, I hope that Mr. Right just pops out.
By the way, the above is rambling thoughts.
